stars_and_money: (Illuminate the sun.)
[personal profile] stars_and_money
Jeremy was the happiest man on earth, he really was! He'd jsut gotten married to the most beautiful girl he'd ever met, and even it had been a little on the sudden side, he didn't care. He just wanted to have a post-wedding picnic with his new wife.

So, he'd walked her to the park from the church, with a picnic basket that had just conveniently appeared from somewhere on the way, and once they got to a good spot, he lay a plaid quilt on the grass so Lucrezia didn't have to get her pretty self dirty.

"I'm so happy," he sighed, as he took a seat on the quilt. "How about you, Mrs. Darling?"

Or whatever her last name was by now.

[ooc: Mostly for the aforementioned wife, but there is a dead body in one bit of the OCD for passers-by to gawk at, so feel free!]

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"Mrs. Sforza Wayne Lannister della Rovere possibly-Luthor Wayne Darling," she said, sweetly. "And I am delighted. More so than I have ever been in my life."

She laid down on the blanket, staring up at the sky. Everything was so utterly perfect here.

"I love this picnic, my husband," she said. "Though not nearly so much as I love you."

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"It is," she said. "I cannot imagine anything more wonderful."

This was the most perfect moment their marriage could ever aspire to. It would only be downhill from here. She knew that only too well from experience.

Really, she was doing him a favor.

"Have we any wine, my love?"

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 09:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"Of course you were," she smiled, proudly. "You could never be wrong. You are too dear to me, husband. Too noble, and proud, and handsome."

She was fumbling with the new necklace that she had. The one that Cindy had changed, mid-wedding.

"Have you ever have spiced wine, my dearest Darling?"
Edited Date: 2011-09-11 09:56 pm (UTC)

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"I would show you spiced wine as my mother serves it," she said. Really, it was more like her brother served it. He was the poisoner of the family.

... next to her. She was the poisoner of the family. He stabbed people, more often.

She was playing again with her necklace, in a conspicuous-yet-apparently-supposed-to-be-secretive way. She added a few drops from the vial to his glass, and stirred with her finger, careful to remember not to lick the wine off.

"Though I would first charge a kiss," she said. One last kiss, then, to seal his fate, and to end their blissful, wonderful marriage. A rose without a thorn. A beautiful joy without the least sorrow.

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
This kiss would have to last them a lifetime, or until she moved on, which would happen in a few hours. So it was very, very sweet, and there were even tears glimmering in her eyes. It was so the audience could sympathize with her, and make up theories that she was mentally unbalanced and not just an evil psychopathic killer for no good reason.

Good thing Cindy had insisted on the waterproof mascara.

"Drink, my lord," she said, handing over the wine glass. With its new spices. The ones that weren't poison.

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 10:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Lucrezia raised her own glass. "To love, marriage, and the memory of us," she said, sadly.

He hadn't thought to ask why she hadn't spiced her own wine. It was quite delicious, and she drank deeply from her glass, even as tears spilled from her eyes to see him do the same.

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-11 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
"Because I love you," she said, trembling with tears. "Because I shall never kiss those lips again. And because you were the sweetest, best husband I have ever had."

Aaaaaaaaaaaany second now.

Re: The Picnic!

Date: 2011-09-13 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Oh, why must he ruin it, right here at the end? Their marriage had been note-perfect, and he was going to spoil the ending as thoroughly as if one poured vinegar in the dessert of a fine meal.

"Shhhh," she murmured, pulling him close, and settling his head on her lap. "Be brave, my husband. It will pass in a moment."

Re: The Aftermath!

Date: 2011-09-11 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Some time later, Juliet Darling, Tripp Darling's youngest daughter, sixteen years old and twin to Jeremy, came wandering through the park and spotted her brother ... taking a nap.


"Jeremy?" she asked the corpse. "Hey, weird place to fall asleep. Wake up."

She shook his shoulders and got no response. She shook a little harder, and realized he wasn't breathing and had no pulse. And then she fell to her knees,wrapping her arms around her brother's still chest.

"Noooo!" she cried, head tilted back to the heavens. "Jeremy, no! My twintuition should have warned meeeeee!"

Re: The Aftermath!

Date: 2011-09-11 11:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Hannah Montana, wearing only a pair of tight leather shorts, frowned as she spotted the dead guy on the ground on her way back from her concert.

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING NICE TO MILEY, BITCH," she said, and stomped over him as she continued her walk.


Re: The Aftermath!

Date: 2011-09-11 11:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
Clumsy Hank walked by without seeing Jeremy, and promptly tripped over him.
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